Our Most Important Tank Costs Little To Fill

AdviserBlast – Quick Tips to Accelerate Your Practice

In this issue: Keep your emotional tank fueled.


It's been an emotionally taxing first half of the year! We're more connected than ever, bringing us more information than ever. As a result, between heart-wrenching stories and images from the Gulf of Mexico as well as the Middle East, and gut-churning days in the equities market, or never-ending bickering from the Capitol, it can feel almost impossible to catch a mental "breather" and disengage from a constant emotional roller coaster.

Earlier this week the Wall Street Journal reported that 56% of working Americans say they are more in need of a vacation than in years past! Most of us need a break!

How do you fill up your emotional tank, when the gauge is showing "empty?"

To begin with, we must realize that just like a vehicle, which carries only a certain amount of gasoline, we have a finite amount of emotional energy. We can't keep going at full speed and never pull over to stop and refuel. We consciously look for a place to pull out of the flow of traffic buzzing around us in our vehicles, and we need to do the same emotionally.

First, give yourself permission to not have an opinion on everything, especially when that opinion will not make an ounce of difference to you or the people asking you for it. Let's face it: most times our opinion on how to regulate the oil industry, punish the odd reckless business person, or chop some politician down to size won't count for anything.

Don't get me wrong – I'm not saying to disengage across the board. But before getting wound up in a particular discussion, pause to consider if it is generated more by emotion than by substance and if you can make a helpful difference with your feedback or opinion.

You may find yourself faced with opportunities where it is more prudent to refrain from rendering opinions and conserve your energy.

Here are some ways I refuel my emotional tank:

  1. Don't mindlessly engage in idle, emotional, chatter. Just because it's topical, doesn't mean you have to have an opinion or render yours, even if you do have one.
  2. Evaluate carefully what you're reading and watching. Is it information you need and want, or is it just emotionally-based hype?
  3. Make specific times for recharging and refueling. Each time when we begin a trip in our cars, we subconsciously glance at the gas needle and evaluate if we have enough fuel to get where we want to go. Make time to check your emotional fuel levels each day by becoming more aware of your emotional state. You'll find it easier to avoid getting distracted by unproductive swirl and stay focused on getting to your destination.
  4. Listen to your most trusted, closest friends. Lower your defenses and allow your treasured confidants to have input and influence in your life, without having to always have a ready response of your own.
  5. Manage yourself. Take care of yourself by resting properly, eating well, exercising, and doing things you enjoy with people you value. Keep routines that fill your "tank" happening, rather than continuously exposing yourself to media or people who leave you drained.
  6. Deliberately communicate. Let family and friends know that no news headlines about some unrelated third party will ever be priority over what they have to say to you. Consciously make time to listen to and be present for the people you care most about.

While these days of summer might not be so lazy and hazy, don't let them to make you crazy!

Keep fueled-up,

Copyright Paul Kingsman 2010


As a motivational speaker and executive coach, Paul Kingsman helps financial services professionals keep fueled-up so they can overcome distractions and stay focused to get the money they need, clients they want, and time to do what they love. Combining his experiences as an Olympic medalist and his background as an adviser for Morgan Stanley and Wells Fargo, Paul understands how to stay focused over the long haul, as well as the unique business challenges faced by advisers, and equips them to build the businesses they desire.

To find out more about how he can equip you or your team to achieve your own Split Second Success® through his presentations or executive coaching, visit paulkingsman.com/coaching or email him at Paul@PaulKingsman.com

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