Let Them Know They Matter

AdviserBlast – Quick Tips to Accelerate Your Practice

In this issue: Make time to make others feel significant!


Recently I spoke with a homeless person in San Francisco. After talking with him for a while and asking questions about his life, he looked at me, laughed, and said that he hadn’t felt this important in a long time.

While he said it with an almost derisive tone, it got me thinking: do I show the people who I profess to love and care about most deeply that they are significant? For that matter, how do I show anyone that I believe they are significant? Do I believe they are?

People need to feel and know they are significant for one reason: because they truly are! And deep down, everyone wants to feel that they matter. Although we may assume that colleagues, friends and family “know” they matter to us (after all we quickly say “thanks” when they do something for us), the real issue is how they feel it.

When we actually slow down and take (make!) the time – even just a couple of moments, if time is pressing – to pause with our spouse or child before we race out the door, change our pace, look them in the eye, and tell them we really love them, we can reach them on a deep level, showing them just how significant they are.

I’m not talking about breaking into song and getting down on one knee, but consider how often do you intentionally communicate with those around you just how vital they are in your life?

Which brings me to thanking you for being a part of my work by allowing me to share my thoughts with you each month through these AdviserBlast emails. The comments, encouragement, and feedback I’ve received from so many through this newsletter are great motivation to me!

Often when I sit down to write, I’ll scroll through my list of email addresses, reading names, and wrestle over figuring out ways I can be helpful to a particular person’s situation or affect change in another person’s context. Even though you’re identified on my screen as an email address, know that I see you as much more than that! I imagine you in front of your screen, thinking about the words I’ve sent you, or driving home, battling traffic, and letting your mind dwell on how you can implement a suggestion to help grow your business and strengthen your relationships.

All this to say, thank you! You are significant to me! Thanks for the brief sentences a number of you have dashed off to let me know that you identified with what I said. Thanks for letting me know when the words written hit their mark. Thanks for coming back with questions which have often helped generate the next edition!

And whether I said so or not, and whether those around you say so or not, you are significant. The whole reason for the Christmas season we’re in right now is predicated upon significance – yours! Today we often hear that we were created for significance; I believe we are significant because we’ve been created. That significance is worth fighting for – even dying for, which the child we celebrate this Christmas came into this world to do, for our benefit!

Throughout this season and beyond, look for ways to make people feel significant and know that they matter to you.

Enjoy the holidays. I look forward to talking to you in the New Year!

Copyright Paul Kingsman 2010


As a motivational speaker and executive coach, Paul Kingsman helps financial services professionals successfully grow their businesses by connecting with quality prospects and turning them into loyal clients. Combining his experiences as an Olympic medalist and his background as an adviser, Paul understands how to stay focused over the long haul, as well as the unique business challenges faced by advisers. Through his professional speaking and executive coaching he equips them to overcome distractions so they can get the money they need, the clients they want, and the time to do what they love.

To find out more about how Paul can equip you or your team to achieve outstanding results, visit paulkingsman.com/coaching or email him at Paul@PaulKingsman.com

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